ROTTEN PEACE: October 2009

MIKE IS DEAD

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that.

101 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

THERE ARE NO KANGAROOS IN DENMARK (A MIND READING TRICK

Mind Reader

Please take this test mentally.
Dont write anything down, and dont say any answers out loud.

1) Pick a number from 2-9.It can be 2, 9 or anything inbetween.
2) Take that number, and multiply it by 9.
3) That should give you a two digit number. Take those two digits and add them together
4) Take the resulting number and subtract 5 from it
5) Take that number and correspond it to the alphabet, numbering the letters A=1,B=2,C=3 and so on...

6) Take your letter, and think of a country that begins with that letter
7) Take the last letter in the name of that country, and think of an animal that starts with this letter
8) Now, take the last letter in the name of that animal, and think of a color that starts with this letter

Oh, and just one last thing...

There are no ORANGE KANGAROOS in DENMARK!!

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020

EVER THOUGHT OF FUTURE AND YOU CALLED FOR PIZZA .TAKE A SNEAK PEEK FOR IT

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I
have your........."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order......"

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number
first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......88986135
6102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're
calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your

home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and
your mobile is 0142662566.

Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

BRUCE LEE'S PROFILE

BRUCE LEE'S PROFILE
1. Favorite vegetable
* MuLee

2.Favourite Lunch
* ThaLee

3. What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
* Kha Lee

4. Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name?
* Saa Lee

5. Favorite Breakfast
* Id Lee

6.Favourite festival
* Diwa Lee

7.Favorite Actress
* Sona Lee

8.Favorite Music
* Qawa Lee

9.Most interesting job?
* Coo Lee

10. When did Bruce Lee die?
* Fina Lee

11.How did Bruce Lee die?
* With a Go Lee

12.Favorite hill station
* Kulu Mana Lee

13. Nick name?
* Mawa Lee

14. Favorite Hindi movie?
* GharwaLee BaharwaLee

15.Favourite cricketer?
* Saurav Gangu Lee

16.Favourite Pet
* Bil Lee

17. Favourite Passtime
* Khuj Lee

18. Bathing Place
* Na Lee

WORLDS WORST PASSWORD

Want to know the World's Worst passwords list of all time..? Oh..yea, then you are in the right place!
As you know... hackers are everywhere on the net. and recently, one of the popular Internet forum phpbb.com was hacked by a hacker who had stolen almost 20,000 usernames and passwords and then after released them to the public, giving us an idea how ridiculously easy passwords people use..

According to one of the surveys conducted by whatsmypass.com recently, the worst password used by most of the internet users is "123456" followed by

FUNNY SUPERHERO PICS

MORE SUPER HERO JOKES

Superman climbed the Empire State Building and challenged King Kong to a fight.

King Kong said, "I don't have time. I have to catch a plane!"
******************************************************

Superman, Santa Clause, and a blonde are walking along and see a dollar lying on the sidewalk.
Who picks it up first?

CREATE A VIRUS PRANK

Open notepad and type this:
lol=msgbox ("Warning a virus has been detected on your PC. Press YES to format yourhard disk now or press NO to format your hard disk after system reboot",20,"Warning")
Then save it as Virus.VBS
and go to the folder that contains it and open it if a window pops out saying a virus has been detected it's working. Press yes or no to close the window and put it in the startup folder of the victim's account.On startup the window should appear.Note: This does not harm your computer as it does not contain virus .

SPIDER MAN PARODY

1)Spiderman isn't afraid of anything, except for Shoe-man.

  Shoe-man isn't afraid of anything, except for Sh!t-man.

  Sh!t-man isn't afraid of anything, except for Fly-man.

  And Fly-man isn't afraid of anything... Except for Spiderman!

2)Why is Superman stupid?
Because he wears his underwear over his pants.
Why is Batman more stupid?
Because he wears his underwear over his pants and puts on a belt over his underwear.
Why is Robin even more stupid?
Because he followed what batman did.
Why is Wonder Woman stupid?
Because she wears a belt on her head.
Why is Spiderman the most stupid superhero of them all?

BATMAN PARODY

PRETTY FUNNY JOKES I LIKED AND IM SHARING WITH YOU

Batman is probably the most stoic character in the comicbooks, which is all the more reason to make fun of him!
If you grew up watching a certain campy television show, that is another reason to poke fun at him! (And a darn big one, too!)
Whatever generation you're from, here are some jokes we can all enjoy that tease America's greatest detective.

1) There is a big room with four corners. In the first corner, you find Superman. In the second corner you find Batman. In the third corner you find Spiderman. And in the fourth corner you find a gorgeous, extremely intelligent, 100% natural blonde woman with a ultra-thin magazine-model figure. In the center of the room there is a pot of gold. Who gets to the pot of gold first?
ans below

2)Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep. Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Robin replies, " I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.
Robin ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Batman?"
Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks:

BLACKLE

Use Google Black, a new step taken by the Google to raise the awareness of the world's environmental problems.
Sometimes small actions make a difference. Really a gr8 attempt. Tell everyone who uses google as search engine.